Grasshopper's Appeal & Habeas Corpus Petition
Installment 1 pgs. 1--> 6 {first half of page 6 only}
[page 1]
Grasshopper’s Appeal
& Habeas Corpus Petition
— 10-23rd , 2010
By + (C) Grashopper Alec Kaplan
Re: the Janet Vandebos conviction from events of July 26th, 2007
Case # APP 08-006671
Also listed as SF Jail # 233405
Re: the Jordana Thigpen conviction from the events of August , 2007
Case # APP 08-006981
Also listed as SF Jail #2334541
And Also re: a small claims judgement upon my behalf
CSM 08-827497
[page 1]
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[page 2]
I wish to dedicate this effort to S t M , without whom ,
this would not have been possible.
Also , for taxicab drivers everywhere, who know that taxi driving is the World’s other oldest profession.
Specifically, for Ahmed Sharif, stabbed in the neck, face and hands through the safety shield by his fare Tuesday August 24th, 2010 NYC
And, of course, to all whom are incarcerated, especially the Innocent, of whom there are way too many, and Quite a few.
And finally, to the venerable Calabaza ‘Trouble’ Sabou
And all creatures, and all spirits everywhere.
Additionally, to Henry Lawton, a fine friend from way back when
To Judi Bari, and
For Danny Lampley, a lawyer jailed for exercising his
Freedom of silence, to NOT speak the pledge of allegiance.
And further, for
Laura Wells, the Green party gubernatorial candidate arrested ouside
A so-called debate, for which she’d had a ticket to get into…
This work is by and (C) Grasshopper Alec Kaplan, and if you’re gonna
quote a portion thereof, I hope you’ll do so accurately and without pulling something totally out of context and thereby changing the meaning…
[the above is the original dedication page, to which i’ll add, to day 6-6-2022
Rededicated to / for my Mom ]
Page 2 - dedication
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[page 3]
Table of Contents
Part I
Certificate of Veracity page 4
Introduction page 6
Overview page 8 Background — the route more traveled page 9
On Being Homeless page 13
The Ride ( my worst taxi ride ever) page 17
Part II
No Opening Statement page 24
The Off-Color Exhibit page 26 + My Flowery Defense
Facts #1 page 28
Threat to Public Safety, Meeting page 29 at McDonald’s, Thigpen Non-Arrest
False Imprisonment page 36
To Impeach Is Patriotic page 37
Running For Mayor page 42 & Getting Arrested
Arrest at 201 Turk page 50
Denied my freedom Of speech as a Mayoral Candidate, at a mayoral debate To which i’d been invited. This arrest got tens of thousands of hits on Youtuber, i saw years later [since deleted, apparently, i couldn’t find it now…]
Straw Poll , San Mateo page 53
Campaigning page 55 Facts #2 page 56 &, Why did I run for mayor?
Why Did I Park in Ed Jew’s page 62 Driveway? &, My Week of Terror
J—walking page 71
Fishing for Sanity & Being Vegan page 74
+ an interesting note
{page 3 }
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[page 4]
Part III
Thigpen + Vandebos Trials page 84 11-7-07 page 92 Phone conversation with Zadik 9-7-2010 page 95 More fallout from the Vandebos trial page 97 + Ivan Estrada
Incident en route to the Mandarin Oriental page 108
Trying to Conclude page 111
Fast Forward, in closing page 115
Thegrasshoppersongs page 119
Depression Impression
Everclear (the Cage)
Saounds of Freedom
Grasshopper’s Appendix page 122
Several letters
The actual habeas corpus petition
Certificate of Veracity
I hereby do solemly swear that this document is correct, and that it is the truth, the actual factual honest - to - goodness truth. This is the reality of what honestly occurred as described herein. As much as this would be an interesting fiction, in fact you can easily verify much of this on the internet if you just google my name. Like the fact that i ran for mayor. But my aim here is to present the true story. I hereby swear that this document is truthful and binding , So help me Goddess.
{(Also, from page 5 of the actual habeas corpus form, except for the word Foregoing change to following, as appropriate)}
I, the undersigned, say: I am the petitioner in this action. I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of California that the following allegations and statements are true and correct, except as to matters that stated on my information and belief, and as to those matters, I believe them to be true.
Date __ 10-23rd - 2010 Signature of Petitioner → Grasshopper Alec Kaplan
Petition for writ of Habeas Corpus
Page 4
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[page 5]
Grasshopper’s Appeal
& Habeas Corpus Petition
The True Story
by Grasshopper Alec Kaplan
. . . sublimely hilarious if only it weren’t so sad . . .
[cover page 5]
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[page 6]
Introduction
Call me Grasshopper. It’s my legal name. Or, call me Grass. Or, ‘hopper, or Mister Hopper, as some do, or “G,” or “Gh;” i was often just called “Taxi,” and would respond by transporting you in the belly of a whale, sinking '“beneath the water to the coral sands below,” as Robert Hunter lyricises in the Eleven.
Today i watched a pelican fish for a half hour during my swim in the cove. S/he kept diving into the water, but apparently caught nothing; like a taxicab driver looking for a flag, this pelican seemed to just keep circling the cove empty. I wished i were a fish so I could feed her, flying all alone.
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The purpose and function of the law is to legitimzie and facilitate the crimes of the elite, to whom it does not apply equally , if at all.
The purpose of intimadation and repression is not merely to scare and oppress the victim, but as well to make an example of her, and thereby intimidate the whole community.